Chris Cross - Escaping From Reality (!)

Within 15 minutes of encountering Chris Cross, I, along with several other members of his hapless audience, had been hoodwinked and publicly humiliated in ways that I blush to recall.

I won’t reveal the sordid acts he somehow cajoled us into performing, but suffice to say they involved a lot of tongues, and repeated use of the song Take My Breath Away.

Yes, Chris Cross is a contortionist and escapologist – I seem to remember a few freaky tricks involving dislocated shoulders and a straight jacket in there somewhere – but his real skill is in creating an atmosphere of complete lunacy which infects your mind and leaves you questioning whether the sane world still exists.

To say he is a natural showman is a gross understatement – the 19-year-old has already been a street performer for a decade and appeared on Britain’s Got Talent, and can handle an audience like a piece of putty.

His body-bending stunts merely provide a vehicle for a comedy act that’s as slick as it is screwball, delivered in an outrageous, Russell Brand-esque persona.

All those who wandered into this pub cellar hoping for a bit of passable free entertainment found themselves stumbling back up the stairs an hour later in complete awe – some of them vowing never to speak of what had happened.